I’m angry. Not just mildly annoyed angry but near seeing red kind of angry. I feel like I’m constantly holding myself back from violently attacking something (or worse, someone). The stress of not doing so is making me exhausted, depressed and withdrawn.
Why am I angry?
And cancer treatment side effects.
Both of which I can do nothing to help with. I want to be doing something to help but all I can do is hold her hand and remind her to take her meds. I can’t think her way out of this, I can’t zap the side-effects away, I can’t even help stop the pain. I want to simultaneously scream, cry, and rage.
I’m also scared I’m not strong enough for this. That I’m going to crack. That I’m not going to be here for her.
I just don’t know what to do.